The Alta Mira Family Relationships Process
Healing Our Legacy
None of us exists in a vacuum. We move through life as members of groups, societies, and organizations. Some of these we believe we have chosen or created for ourselves, others are assigned or inherited. A key component of adult development involves learning to survive, cope, and thrive within these groups. As adults, we find that we have developed ways of being and coping from our family of origin (the family we grew up in). This family, as well as the one we may have started with a new partner or partners, can be thought of us a connected group of individuals who share a common ancestry, history and attachment to one another. Our individual choices, beliefs, and behaviors can be seen as either embracing or rejecting the prevailing messages, assumptions, and rules to which were exposed in our families of origin. In addition, we carry a story and a related set of values and beliefs we learned from and brought to our families. Ultimately, we are each responsible for the beliefs, values, and choices we embrace, ignore, or rebel against.The Alta Mira Family Relationships Process is dedicated to the healing of family relationships in the context of individual responsibility. The work provides an examination of the characteristics, histories, experiences, and dreams of our families with a particular eye toward each individual’s role and responsibility in the family system. Effecting change and healing in families requires we each look at ourselves, our individual contributions and roles, and become able to tell our loving truth from a position of authenticity and self-respect.
The Invitation
Individuals who enroll in treatment at Alta Mira are providing an invitation to their family members to begin this conversation. This frequently takes the form of inviting specific family members to come to Alta Mira, sit down together, and explore the individual and collective paths that have brought us together. Clients are encouraged to extend the invitation without expectation of a particular response and without taking personal responsibility for the impact upon those invited of receiving the invitation. Extending an unencumbered invitation offers one a chance to take a genuinely personal action that is made independent of its effect on others – people we have either protected from our needs or harmed as a result of our behavior. Recognizing together these patterns of protection and harm begins the healing process that follows when we authentically experience and expose the truth of our family relationships.The Work
We come together for two and a half days, typically around a weekend, and first establish a safe and trusting environment in which we can discover and express our loving truth. Members share their individual experiences of growing up and explore each other’s trans-generational stories and the themes that emerge. We observe the commonalities and learn from the differences. Teachings are provided that explore recovery, family and group dynamics, and the successful as well as destructive ways we cope as human beings. Finally, the facilitated experiential work helps participants to break down the barriers that separate us from the deeper family connections we have lost or longed for.In the end of our time together each participant – client, family member, and staff person – experiences a new clarity and appreciation for our authentic selves and for one another.