Emotional sobriety is an important factor in recovery. It means being able to confront and cope with all the negative emotions that were ignored when using drugs or alcohol. These are the feelings that can act as triggers for relapse, so being able to manage them is crucial for recovery and for staying sober over the long-term.
Emotional sobriety is a concept that originated with Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), a 12-step support group program for those who struggle with drinking. Participants in AA and other peer support programs work through the steps to achieve lasting sobriety. The twelfth step suggests taking the message of AA to others, while also living the steps and practicing AA principles in everything a person does. This step also mentions emotional sobriety and that those who have completed the program should help others achieve it. The concept of emotional sobriety is not limited to people in 12-step recovery—it is useful for anyone struggling with addiction.
Working toward emotional sobriety is a long process and can be started with the help of addiction professionals in a world-class alcohol treatment center.
What the founders of AA recognized and that is important to anyone with a substance use disorder today is that simply stopping use of a substance and avoiding relapse is not enough. While this may be the first and most urgent part of recovery from an addiction, it is also crucial to address all the negative feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that were smothered and ignored by drinking or drug use. Only when they are confronted and managed can someone truly achieve both physical and emotional sobriety.
One of the most important reasons to address negative emotions and to learn to control or manage them is to avoid relapsing. Negative feelings are often triggers for substance use, and if they are not regulated a relapse becomes nearly inevitable. The less obvious reason to work toward emotional sobriety is that it improves overall mental health and quality of life.
Emotional sobriety is complicated and difficult to define, but generally it means being able to experience, confront, and accept all emotions, even the painful ones. It doesn’t mean being happy all the time, but it does mean having a healthy relationship with emotions and using positive strategies to cope with those that are negative. It is a complex and long process to learn to become emotionally sober.
Working toward emotional sobriety is different for everyone. Some strategies work better for certain people than others, and the time it takes to successfully manage emotions may be longer or shorter depending on the individual. A good treatment program for addiction will include several strategies and techniques for helping individuals learn to regulate feelings and develop emotional sobriety. There are also some important strategies that anyone can use, in or out of treatment, to have a better emotional balance:
According to the World Health Organization, 55 percent of assaults by one partner against another in the U.S. occurred after the perpetrator had been drinking. It has also found that heavier drinking and drinking more frequently are risk factors for domestic violence. Being unsatisfied in the relationship also increases the risk that one partner who drinks heavily will assault the other. Other studies have also shown that a leading trigger for violence when one partner is drinking is an accusation of infidelity.
Emotional sobriety is a state, but it is also a process. No one achieves perfect emotional sobriety, and the important thing is to always be working toward better balance, greater emotional awareness, and the use of coping strategies that are healthy and productive.
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