My Husband Drinks Too Much—What Can I Do?

Isolation is not the way forward. If you’re concerned that your husband drinks too much, it is time to make connections with people who really know how to help. As helpless as you may feel now, there is hope for recovering your life and your partner.

It’s hard for Allie to remember the way things were before her husband started drinking like this. Well, she can remember, but it’s as if it were a different life. And now, she takes it one moment at a time. She can’t see the forest for the trees. She can’t see the trees for the bark and the broken leaves all around her feet. She most certainly can’t see what lies beyond the forest.

Allie needs help. And so does her husband.

You might question yourself and your conclusions about the situation. Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe this is just normal. Maybe he’ll get it under control. But the chances are very good that if you are concerned that there’s a problem, there is. If you’ve thought, my husband drinks too much, he probably does. And if pieces of your life are falling apart around you, those are also clues that something is very wrong.

The message is not that it’s time to give up on him. Rather, it is time to turn in the direction of real hope and change. If your husband has a substance use disorder, he cannot find his way out of the trees and the shadows alone. And he needs a different kind of help than you can give. He needs professional assistance to safely break the active cycle of addiction and therapeutic help untangle some of the underlying roots of his distress. Meanwhile, you need help to turn your attention back to you—to recover your own vitality.

What Can I Do If My Husband Drinks Too Much?


When your husband has a drinking problem, one of the worst things you can do is wait. When you ignore the problem and neglect to take action, you may actually be enabling his drinking. And there are certainly dangerous risks involved when living with an alcoholic spouse. That is in no way to say that his problems are your responsibility.

But you are in a position to incite change. You may be the person who knows the most about his destructive habits and the range of effects on your lives. And, with the right professional guidance, you are in a position to support him in successful addiction treatment.

So, how do you actually take steps forward from where you are? The key to productive movement is breaking the trap of isolation. Eventually, comprehensive support will come from a lot of different corners of your life. But professional clinical help is absolutely necessary. And the sooner you can help bridge that gap toward treatment, the better.


Do


Don’t


  • Get help early
  • Draw lines at intolerable behaviors
  • Hold him accountable
  • Learn more about substance use disorders
  • Take the risks of substance abuse seriously
  • Be honest and expressive about the consequences of his drinking
  • Prioritize your needs and the rest of the family’s
  • Feel ashamed to ask for help
  • Take responsibility for his actions
  • Take his actions personally
  • Ignore the problem
  • Make excuses or cover up for him
  • Shoulder his regular responsibilities
  • Neglect your own needs

Hope is Just a Phone Call Away

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Perhaps you’re apprehensive about talking about his drinking—afraid that it will anger him or make the problem worse. But neglecting to have these undeniably important conversations is comparable to doing nothing. Whether you are afraid of his reaction or you don’t know how to begin or you are tired of the conversations going nowhere—talking to an addiction specialist can help. They not only understand what it takes to move forward along the recovery road; they also understand the many roadblocks and the ways that alcoholics are skilled at tricking you and tricking themselves.

You can start by getting in touch with a professional interventionist. They can point you in the direction of materials to learn more about substance use disorders. And they can help you make a plan for initiating an effective discussion with your husband. An interventionist can also recommend the best treatment options available.

There Is Hope for Recovery from Alcoholism


Hope is in help. And danger is in isolation. For too many families, the circumstances around alcoholism get worse before they get better, but you are not just a statistic. It is time to turn on the light over the path ahead.

Comprehensive treatment centers know that recovery is about much more than detoxification and the hope of continued sobriety. It is also about repairing the destruction caused by your husband’s drinking. It is about strengthening your relationship for a more positive future. And it is also about your personal growth and recovery. What lies ahead is the opportunity for you to rediscover your power and your capacity for self-love.

Alta Mira offers comprehensive treatment for people struggling with drug and alcohol addiction as well as co-occurring mental health disorders and process addictions. Contact us to learn more about our renowned programs and how we can help you or your loved one start the journey toward recovery.